i know i've told myself, over and over again... that i'd stop whatever that was set in motion, but i can't help it. the gears are in motion and i really don't know how to stop it, save from never seeing you again..... which i'm torn about....
because even then, i would still most probably miss you..... i would miss you.. until.. i don't know.... for a certain period of time at least i guess....
from someone which i thought, "Meh, he will just make a good friend", you have turned into someone that i have feelings for. ironic isn't it, turns out you possess a trait that i really like, and i couldn't help noticing it. and i started to think "hey, he's not bad...."... and the gears were set in motion...
everywhere i go, i can't avoid thinking of you - well maybe it's because your company's logo is everywhere lol.. which makes it unfair.. everytime i see it, i think of you...... (then again, even when i don't see that logo, i think of you and miss you.....)
there is this quote that i got from a little book that i've been reading lately, it's called:
The Little Book of Calm by Paul Wilson
an interesting quote, which i think is applicable to me now is this:
"Know when to withdraw: There comes a time in every struggle when determination serves no purpose and becomes and end unto itself, knowing when to move on to the next issue is a skill possesed by many calm people"
i feel like i should withdraw, because you seem to be leaning the other way, i bury everything in, and do my best to let this feelings of mine die out...
but when you say things like that, you make me think twice, and whatever i've tried so hard to bury comes out at me again.... you make hope ignite... it's unfair that you have this effect on me.....
The best part is, i don't understand why i miss you..... i just do......
and here i am wistfully and foolishly hoping and wishing that you feel the same way too....
it's times like this, that i hate my life, i hate that it's always so one sided....
-ケイ-
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