End of 2011 - the good? More bad than good in my opinion

With the end of 2011 and the start of 2012 we see so many people posting on their Facebook, twitter etc that they are thankful for 2011 and are sure that 2012 will have more to offer.

Optimists? Or just merely posting cause everyone else is posting? Or did they really have such a good year i.e. lucky?

I guess for some they have been really lucky, some of them worked for it. If you asked me? I don't have much to say that would be good for 2011. So being thankful for 2011? I'm not sure.

My team, being my boss and senior left for another firm, leaving me alone to handle all the work load. A one man show literally.

Not knowing how to do all the work and with no guidance I had to struggle through. Resulting in a gastric ulcer. Waking up at about 3-4 am cause it was so painful. Realising that I was clenching my fists as I woke up. Not able to get proper rest.

Can't take leave or even medical leave in peace. There is a reason why the doctors gave me the day off! But no! Still had to call or text me to do work. When I'm on leave I'm working longer hours than I work in the office, or at least 4 to 5 hours a day. Cause i don't waste time traveling...What is the point of taking leave??

I was also forced to work a lot of weekends. Both at the client place and at home. More at the latter. Full time working... The only plus point about work, if you could call it that, is that I learnt a lot in a short span.

I'm probably quite valuable in the market now... But that would mean I could get all the same shit where ever I go now. Capable people really suffer at the workplace.

Even though the bosses know I have a gastric problem they still gave me so much work... Sigh. Overall work this whole year is bad!!

Friends wise, I'm not any happier being still stuck with that bunch of people. Although I do have some good friends. So, friend department wise I guess there is a plus and minus.

Tried making new friends, but with the work hours I have, what social life??

Also with the long hours, my colleagues are my friends now, and you know what they say bout colleagues being friends.

Some are ok to work with, others whether on purpose or not, act incapable and indirectly beg you to do the work. And also one has to be careful to ensure that no unwanted news ends up where it shouldn't.

I think that there is also a bit of fear on their end that the bosses may hear things from me as I'm in their good books....

On the love front.. This year there is nothing to talk about. I work with a majority of women. The only men I meet are either not available, or too old, or well not mature enough for me.

There was one as can be seen from my earlier posts, but we all know how it turned out...

Family, well what is there to say, I'm currently the only one staying with my parents as my siblings are both residents overseas.

One came back for Chinese new year and as usual every year pissed me off. My parents sided with him, cause apparently he only comes back once a year, so I should be more patient.

Load of bullocks, so should I move out too and come back once a year? There is a limit to patience, and where he is clearly in the wrong, you do not scold me!

Anytime his stupid precious son is mentioned. Even if I'm talking bout something else, I'll get scolded. Honestly, if my brother decides to move back home, I'm going to move out. Can't stand living in the same house with they prick and the old man blindly siding with they ass!

Also at the end of the year my sister came back, well she's still here.... So its more like is back lol for christmas and new year, well and I'm closer to her. We had a few disagreements but it's still better to have her around than my brother.

So family wise, same as usual.... No plus or minus actually. Well actually minus cause I've an asshole for a brother, and a dad that blindly sides with him. And people wonder why I don't talk to my brother.

Extended family? Well my cousins were nice enough to bring me out, cause I was stressed and overworked, depressed and unhappy. Also not very willing to go out with the people who call themselves friends but don't act like one. So I guess ok on this end...

So overall reading this post do I have to be thankful for 2011? I'm a realist, not my problem if you see me as a pessimist.

But all I'll say bout 2011 is that I'm neither going to thank it or cuss at it. But I do hope my 2012 will be better, everything else being the same... Hopefully better. At least let my love department improve please....

Thank you very much, and a happy new year!!

Enter the water dragon!!!

-ケイ-

Point taken

I find it incredibly rude and a turn off that you ignore my messages and do not reply. I know that you may be busy, and well busy as i am, i do try to reply messages as best as possible and not ignore them!

Forgetting once in a while I understand, or taking forever to reply, i understand.... but all my messages being ignored? I think that is a bit too much....

Well, what are we anyway? Not even close friends, right? Nothing between us, just normal friends who may see each other once in a while, so i guess that's how its going to be from now on and in the future.

But anyway, as bad as it is, and I'm not sure if I'm as bad as you are, but admittedly, I do that to people I don't want to talk to as well.. Point taken..... Thank you for reading


-ケイ-

Lonely

Feels kind of lonely here, cause its like no one reads or provide feedback haha.

But I guess that's how it is since I'm just writing bout my daily life, nothing interesting like food or places.

It's a bit lonely, but based on experience, it's this anonymity that gives me the freedom to write like this.

Previously I had a blog which I had made known to my friends, and even colleague's found it. In the end, even though I said that, it's my blog and l write what I want.

I had to control what I posted, and had to censor stuff. I could not properly vent my anger, had to look out for people's feelings. Some people misconstrued what I wrote, though I never mentioned names. They thought I was talking about them...

Well they have saying that if you did it, you'd feel it. Well in this case said person did not do it though. Don't know what's their problem.

My blog even got involved in office politics. I really felt like, why couldn't these people mind their own
Business??

If I wanted you to read my blog, I would have given you the link. You don't need to google my blog.

But anyway that is in the past. Life has moved on. So that's it....

Good night world
-ケイ-

Just the other day

The other day, when I was saying that I was going to let you go? I dreamt I was on a plain, and there was a beautiful white wolf there who tossed me on her back and ran, don't ask me how, I just knew her gender.

Anyway, she tossed me on her back, and I recall being comfortable. With wind rushing past me. And i was Holding on, more like hugging her neck of soft fluffy fur. I felt the warmth, the wonder of it all.

According to the dream dictionary, she was 'survival' and by me embracing her, I chose survival? Or something along those lines.

I did feel a bit better after that, not too emotional. Although every time my phone rings, I catch myself hoping that it's you...

Guess I've still got a bit of a way to go before I can fully let go. But I believe that life moves on and I'll get there! Guess that's why 'survival' came out...

I'm a survivor! I'll survive!

-ケイ-